Three jokes

Have you heard the one about the chicken and the frog? How about the one about the firing squad? And the one about the parrot who didn't want to talk? See if you can 'tell' the jokes yourself.

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The chicken and the frog

One morning a chicken walked into a library.
It went up to the desk and said "Book! Book!"
The librarian gave the chicken two books, and it left.
Half an hour later the chicken returned.
Once more it approached the desk and said "Book! Book!"
This time the curious librarian followed the chicken.
She followed it through the streets to the park.
It went into the park and down to the lake.
It gave the books to a big fat frog.
The frog opened a book and looked at it.
Then it said "Read it!" and threw the book into the water.

The firing squad

Two men were travelling together in a foreign country.
One night they heard gun-shots and lots of shouting.
Next morning they were told that a revolution had broken out.
They were arrested and accused of being spies.
They were sentenced to death by firing squad.
The first man faced the guns …
“Ready! Aim! …”
“Earthquake!” he yelled, and the gunmen panicked.
In the confusion he made his escape.
The second man faced the guns …
“Ready! Aim! …”
"Ah … Fire!” he yelled!

The parrot

A man went into a pet shop one day.
“I’d like a parrot that talks”, he said.
“I’m sorry sir, but you have to teach your parrot to speak.”
So he chose a parrot and took it home with him.
Two weeks later he returned to the pet shop.
“My parrot still doesn’t speak”, he said.
“Ah, that's a shame. Buy this mirror. He’ll look at himself, and talk.”
The man bought the mirror and went away.
Two weeks later he returned a final time.
“My parrot is dead”, he said.
“I’m sorry, sir – but tell me, before he died, did he say anything?”
“Yes he did. But only one word.”
“Really? Which word was that?”
“Foooooooood!”